All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
Fran Lebowitz
Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
Fran Lebowitz
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
Fran Lebowitz
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
Fran Lebowitz
Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
Fran Lebowitz
Children ask better questions than adults. "May I have a cookie?" "Why is the sky blue?" and "What does a cow say?" are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than "Where's your manuscript?" Why haven't you called?" and "Who's your lawyer?"
Fran Lebowitz
Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
Fran Lebowitz
Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.
Fran Lebowitz
Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
Fran Lebowitz
Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.
Fran Lebowitz
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
Fran Lebowitz
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Fran Lebowitz
Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
Fran Lebowitz
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
Fran Lebowitz
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
Fran Lebowitz
I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word - politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
Fran Lebowitz
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
Fran Lebowitz
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
Fran Lebowitz
If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Fran Lebowitz
In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
Fran Lebowitz
Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
Fran Lebowitz
My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
Fran Lebowitz
My favorite animal is steak.
Fran Lebowitz
Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
Fran Lebowitz
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
Fran Lebowitz
Polite conversation is rarely either.
Fran Lebowitz
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
Fran Lebowitz
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz
Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
Fran Lebowitz
Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
Fran Lebowitz
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
Fran Lebowitz
Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.
Fran Lebowitz
The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
Fran Lebowitz
The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
Fran Lebowitz
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
Fran Lebowitz
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
Fran Lebowitz
This is not a tough job. You read a script. If you like the part and the money is O.K., you do it. Then you remember your lines. You show up on time. You do what the director tells you to do. When you finish, you rest and then go on to the next part. That's it.
Fran Lebowitz
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
Fran Lebowitz
Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
Fran Lebowitz
When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
Fran Lebowitz
You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
Fran Lebowitz
You're only has good as your last haircut.
Fran Lebowitz
Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
Fran Lebowitz
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Type:
Journalist
Date of Birth:
1950-10-27
Year of Death:
Nationality:
American |
