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Random Quote
"The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods; it remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is no more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate."
Mark Twain
Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
Jerry Seinfeld

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.
Jerry Seinfeld

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.
Jerry Seinfeld

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
Jerry Seinfeld

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
Jerry Seinfeld

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
Jerry Seinfeld

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!
Jerry Seinfeld

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
Jerry Seinfeld

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
Jerry Seinfeld

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, "See if you can blow this out."
Jerry Seinfeld

Type:
Comedian
Date of Birth:
1955-04-29
Year of Death:

Nationality:
American
 

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