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Random Quote
"God help the Minister that meddles with art!"
Lord Melbourne
Lily Tomlin Quotes
For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
Lily Tomlin

Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.
Lily Tomlin

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
Lily Tomlin

I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
Lily Tomlin

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
Lily Tomlin

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
Lily Tomlin

If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.
Lily Tomlin

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
Lily Tomlin

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
Lily Tomlin

No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.
Lily Tomlin

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
Lily Tomlin

Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
Lily Tomlin

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
Lily Tomlin

The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
Lily Tomlin

The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year, everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
Lily Tomlin

The problem with winning the rat race is you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin

There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
Lily Tomlin

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
Lily Tomlin

We are all in this together, by ourselves.
Lily Tomlin

We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company.
Lily Tomlin

We're all in this alone.
Lily Tomlin

When we talk to God we are praying; when God talks to us, we are schizophrenic.
Lily Tomlin

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
Lily Tomlin

Why is it when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
Lily Tomlin

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
Lily Tomlin

Type:
Actress
Date of Birth:
1939-09-01
Year of Death:

Nationality:
American
 

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