Milton Berle quotes

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Random Quote"Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused."
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Milton Berle Quotes

A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle

A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, "Are you comfortable?" The man answers, "I make a nice living."
Milton Berle

A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!".
Milton Berle

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
Milton Berle

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.
Milton Berle

I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.
Milton Berle

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Milton Berle

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle

Laughter is an instant vacation.
Milton Berle

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.
Milton Berle

The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
Milton Berle

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
Milton Berle

Type:
Comedian
Date of Birth:
1908-07-12
Year of Death:
2002
Nationality:
American